Have
you experienced any of the following?
____ taken
responsibility for your partner’s sexual behavior by making
excuses for him/her to yourself or others?
____
changed
your appearance or dress to be more attractive or appealing in
an attempt to get your partner
to
be less interested in his/her problematic sexual behaviors and
more interested in you?
____
checked
up on your partner in an attempt to learn whether he/she is behaving
appropriately, by:
driving
by known haunts, scrutinizing bank and credit card statements,
listening on the extension phone or
checking
clothing for give-away stains?
____
lectured,
attacked, threatened or suffered when you “caught”
the addict?
____
made
threats to leave because of your partner’s sexual behavior
but failed to carry them out or relented and returned?
____
accepted
again and again the addict’s promises to change the sexual
behavior, hoping or believing each time
that
this time will be different?
____
believed
that if you changed, the addict would stop the behavior?
____
blamed
yourself for your partner’s behavior?
____
given
up on your own interests, neglected your own needs in trying to
deal with the addict’s out of control behavior?
____
found
yourself devoting large amounts of your time and energy thinking
and worrying about the addict’s problems
and
reacting to them?
____
tried
to control the addict’s behavior by hiding car keys, tearing
up the magazine, calling the person the addict
is
involved with, etc.?
____
acted
against your own morals, values and beliefs in reacting to your
partner’s behavior?
____
been
sexual with your partner when you did not want to in an effort
to improve the sexual relationship with him/her?
____
withdrawn
sex as a means of punishing your partner’s behavior?
____
agreed
to participate in sexual activities or practices objectionable
to you in an effort to please your partner and
control his/her behavior?
____
ever
had an affair of your own or acted out sexually in retaliation
for the addict’s sexual behavior?
____
used
mind or mood altering substances to dull the pain of you partner’s
sexual acting out?
